279. Moon

Continuing with the moon obsession
---

it
crawls
slowly
tentatively
each night

the moon spider

it
treads
the same path
across my sky ceiling
each night

i watch
in anticipation

one of these nights
i am sure
it will
suddenly gobble up -
one of the stars
caught in its web
of moon-light gossamer 

278. Jigsaw

Boy did not sleep well
last night

I had peeled
all the sunny pieces of the day
off
last evening

leaving behind
the empty dark board

all the pieces
but
for the stubborn
radiant piece of the moon
which refused to relent
and come unstuck
from the sky-board

and all through the night
the moon-piece
smugly
kept
peeping through our bedroom window

and you know how
Boy is such a light sleeper

no wonder
he did not sleep well
last night

277. ज़िद्दी

धूप की किरणों के धागे
काट काटके
मैं शाम से
रोशनी की सारी पतंगे
उड़ा रहा हूँ
जो आसमान में भरे थे

अब सारा आसमान
खाली है
काला है

बस बची है
तो इक चाँद की ज़िद्दी पतंग

क्या करूँ
ये चाँदनी की डोर
मुझसे कटती ही नहीं

276. गुरूर

यूँ ही
बुलंद नहीं हैं
हौसले मेरे
हसरतें मेरी

बड़ी शिद्दत से
पाले हैं इन्हे

वक़्त के कितने
टुकड़े खिलाए हैं

होश गँवाकर कितने दिन
नींद गिरवी रखकर कितनी रातें
जमा किए हैं
इनके लिए

तुम्हे
लगते होंगे फ़िज़ूल
ये

पर ज़िंदगी चुकाके
संभाले हैं इन्हे

यूँ ही
बुलंद नहीं हैं
हसरतें मेरी
हौसले मेरे

275. Rana

I marvel
each time I think of him
and they ask me why

They should see

how
he reaches out
to life
and does not
wait for it to happen

how
he finds
art on dusty windshields
mirth in the company of strangers
music in crowded moments

how
he finds
life in places
it did not know
it could be

how
he coaxes
butterflies
out of unsuspecting caterpillars
to the pleasant surprise
of the world

Ah, but I -
I love the times
he coaxes
caterpillars
out of unhappy butterflies;
and applauds their defiant beauty
and teaches them pride

how
he sends
thoughts draped in radiant words
across miles
to light up,
evenings;
and
to lighten up,
moods

how
he mixes
merriment and maturity

how
he makes
sense seem so eloquent
empathy seem so effortless
immersion seem so enticing

They should see
and they will know
why

I marvel
each time I think of him

and I am not the only one
--

My unassuming friend. 
Thank you.

274. Inebriation

hula-hoops
strange time loops
mascara goops
some drinks and ... oops!

--
lest sanity be suspected

273. दुआ

आसमाँ वाले
आसमाँ वाले

आज आजा
आज़मा जा
आसमाँ से
आज आजा

आसमानों
से जो गूँजे
दास्ताँ हैं
सारे तेरे

कैसे पहुँचें
इतने ऊँचे
आसमाँ हैं
सारे तेरे

जान जाए
जो मैं सुन लूँ
आहट तेरी
जान जाए

जान जाए
जो तू देखे
हालत मेरी
जान जाए

तेरी रहमत में
वो पुरानी
इश्क़ फिर से
देख लूँ मैं

तेरी कुद्रत में
इक नूरानी
इश्क़ फिर से
सीख लूँ मैं

सारी राहों में
ज़र्दी भर दे
तेरे नूर के
तेरे नूर के

सारी रूहों पे
पर्दे कर दे
तेरे नूर के
तेरे नूर के

आसमाँ से
आस सुन ले
आह भर लें
आँख भर दे

आज आजा
आज़मा जा
आसमान से
आज आजा

आसमाँ वाले
आसमाँ वाले

272. 'Mokokchung'

Philwaqt nahin, yaaron
Dil sakht nahin, yaaron
Kal faqat, yahin, yaaron
Mil jaaye to kaafi hai!!

271. Mulaaqat

tum
har roz
jab bhi aate ho
shaffaaf si hoti hain
nazrein tumhari

benaqab se khayaal
tumhare
zara sa
dikhne lagte hain
tere chehre par

aur phir

tum bolne lagte ho

tum bolne lagte ho
kuch fashionable alfaaz
jo har kisike zubaan pe
ek hi jaise lagte hain

is lafzon ke parde me
main tumhe
pahchaan nahin paata
lovely

tere saath rahke bhi
tumhe bahut miss karta hoon

aaj
please
tum kuch mat kahna
main bhi chup rahta hoon

aaj
yun hi
khamosh baithe baithe
dubaara
ik doosre se
milne ki koshish karein?!

270. Excerpts from random mental to-do lists - II

to
step out in the blue shirt
in which I think I look fat;
the one I try on each time
and change out into something else

to
say no to him finally
when he comes home
tonight
I have been trying for the last 7 months

to
sell all the balloons by evening
and buy myself a coca cola
like I do each month

to
take a bat
and beat Raj
next time he bullies me in school
or maybe, I should just change schools

to
binge-watch the series
I am tired of spoilers on facebook

to
vote before I go to work today

to
take my family to Mc Donald's
on Diwali
as promised

to
sew the fall 
on the special red saree
so I can wear it to Mc Donald's
on Diwali

to
push my boss
to have the discussion
on my rating

to
actually walk into the mall
and not walk by it
like I did the last 13 times
I have money now
but the guard looks so intimidating

to
try and get better at maths
and make Papa proud
I cannot fail the unit test,
another time

to
start exercising

to
go to the Ganesh temple
I have taken a vow
to walk up the steps
for 21 tuesdays
I can't tell you what I am doing it for
They say the vow does not work as well then

to
tell her
I love her

to
not give in
and ask my children their pocket money
to go to the bootlegger's
again tonight

to
make tamarind rice
maybe this time, it will turn out right

to
accompany Aai to the bank
though I dislike how
the people there talk down and embarrass us
each time

to
apologize to him
for all the hurtful things I said;
and accept that I was wrong

to be unafraid

to be different

to be brave

to be better

to be

269. Excerpts from random mental to-do lists - I

to waltz off

to walk up

to walk out

to tell

to surprise

to stop

to stay put

to stand up

to speak out

to scream at

to scream

to run by

to run away

to rise above

to quit

to please

to plead

to move on

to look out

to look away

to look at

to know

to give up

to give it another try

to give it a try

to give in

to forget

to find out

to dance

to breathe

to begin now

to be

268. Encounters

each encounter
is
a stamp
on my worldview

I am not sure

are these stamps
souvenirs
from reality

or

are they just
ticket stubs -
a pointless proof
of yet another journey

as I parse through
all these stamps
I worry

I worry
about being an unintentional hoarder
if I hold onto them

I worry
about being a willfully blind traveler
if I throw them away

so
while I figure out
what to do with my encounters,
maybe
I should not
meet
anyone
anymore

267. The Conjuror

How many parts
moonshine
are you;
how many parts -
moans and sighs?

How much of you
is pain;
how much,
poetry?

How many parts,
mystery;
how much,
misery;
how little,
mercy?

How much of you
is desire;
how little,
despair;
how much,
desolation?

How many parts of you,
music;
and how many parts,
magic?

How much of you
is smiles and candor;
and
how much,
shame;
how many,
secrets?

Does it take
a lot of ferocity to be you;
how much fear
does it take;
how much
freedom?

Very persistent,
was the conjuror
I smirked at, disdainfully
at the bar.
Very persuasive.

Do tell me -
he said
- what you are
made of?

Maybe
I will
conjure you up
tonight
so
I can rid you of
this delusion of uniqueness

I rolled my eyes
and gave him
my number
(to get rid of him)

The next morning,
there were so many of me

I was invisible.

266. Rahne de

ek arse tak
main bas
tu tha

tere saaye pahanke
teri haqeeqatein maan li
teri naseehatein maan li

khudaa banta gaya
tu mera
khudee bharta gaya
tu meri

mere naam to mahaz rasm the
tune jo kaha
nibhaa liye

ab

naam tere guzar gaye
shaam saare utar gaye

khamoshi me posheeda hoon
main
ab benaam rahne de

bemanzil yun pehli dafaa hoon
main
ab naakaam rahne de

koi naqshe na dikha
naye rasmein na sikha

mujhe
rihaa na kar

meri hasratein
baqsh de
meri fursatein
baqsh de

mere daayre
baqsh de
mere aaine
baqsh de

meri harkatein

baqsh de

meri furqatein 

baqsh de 

meri sohbatein

baqsh de

meri naubatein

baqsh de 

ke
main
abhi jaari hoon yahaan
main
abhi baaqi hoon kahin

haan,
main,
tujh bin, khaali hoon zara

par
main to ab kaafi hoon yun hi

mujhe 
rahne de!?
---

265. Ajnabi - II

shor ke parde
utaarta hai
har shahar se
ajnabi mera

uski sohbat me
har mod pe mauziki
mil jaati hai mujhe

har nazaare me
nazm koi

---
Kolkata
Boy
70s music

264. Ajnabi

ik haseen ajnabi hai
hamsafar mera

jitna pehchaanta hoon use
utne naye muamme ugaati hai
fitrat uski
har naye tajurbe pe

shukr hai
ye dilchaspi
ik umr me
bujhegi nahin

----
Is love not about finding something new and  adorable, every now? :)
Drunk me!

263. Dikhayi duniya

ulat palat-ke
dikhayi duniya
dagar se hat-ke
dikhayi duniya

meri nazron pe chadhe rangeen chashme
sadak pe patke;
dikhayi duniya

marzi se andha tha jab main
maar-ke phatke
dikhayi duniya

dheeth hoon main, kam ziddi nahin wo
yun jam-ke dat-ke
dikhayi duniya

be-buniyaad se darr the jitne mere sab
rah gaye simat-ke;
dikhayi duniya

raste hain rasmen - samjhaake mujhko
bhatak-ke bhatke
dikhayi duniya

ulat palat-ke
dikhayi duniya
shukr hai- hatke
dikhayi duniya

---

when I need to go mad
when I need to feel sane -
Sushma & Pidi.

262. Talaash

sukoon sukoon talaash loon
junoon junoon talaash loon
 

aibdaar se meri manzilon me
koi aarazu, talaash loon

gum se hisse hain kitne mere
inhe, ku-ba-ku, talaash loon

jis mujhse waaqif tha tu, use -
ik pal thahar tu - talaash loon



dikhe na umr intezaar ki
meri justajoo taraash loon

 ---
the pointless endless wait

261. Never enough

I said it

I want to say it now

I will want to say it again

But
each time
I try to profess
this sharp emotion
which bruises my insides
when
I breathe
because
it makes me
want to be more alive
more here
more now...

each time
I do that,
I sense
that something's amiss

I notice
each time
each word seems
more jarring
in its eloquence

I tried resorting
to silence
but it sounds
worse

so tell me

how
does one
profess
a persistent and intransigent
feeling
that refuses to get used to me;
and refuses to let me feel at home;
and refuses to yield to age;
and insists on wielding a new smile and story, each dawn?

and how
does one
ever
profess it properly?

and how
does one
ever
profess it enough?

Ugh,
this love thing!
F*** it,
I won't tell you
how much I love you.

Deal with it!

----
To my one-year-old husband.
Oops, that sounded so wrong. 
My husband of one year? Is that the right syntax?!
Happy Anniversary, Babu-ness!
The year must have been really happy for you; well, you were married to me! *presumptuous dramatic eye-rolling*

260. Setting things right

let us avenge
history

because
there are
but
infinite unverifiable instances
of tentative discomfort
scattered over eternity

a life
for each instance
some blood and tears
to drown eternity

and
we are good

let us avenge
history
so
there is none of us
left
to find it
uncomfortable