241. Ek safar aur?!

baatein banaake aankhen milaake
badle mere daastaan ke ilaake

mere huzoor
munaasib nahin
mere huzoor
munaasib nahin

dekar kiraaye khaabon ke saaye
ghar me paraaye mausam basaaye

mere huzoor
munaasib nahin
mere huzoor
munaasib nahin

----

anjaan shahron ke
anjaan lahron me
hamko abhi bahna nahin

anjaan pahron me
anjaan chehron ko
hamne kabhi pahna nahin

dar-darke jhaankte hain
dar dar pe chaunkte hain

mere huzoor
munaasib nahin
mere huzoor
munaasib nahin

----

sard aasamaanon ka
dard aazamaao to
mausam alag se lagne lage

zard aashiyaanon me
'gar aaj maano to
ham bhi zara sulagne lage

sab phir se seekhte hain
uth-girke dekhte hain

maana ye safar
munaasib nahin
jo ham saath ho
buraa bhi nahin

----

alag maayne hain, alag kaayde hain
alag daayre hain, alag zaayke hain

ye aasaan safar
zaraa bhi nahin

par ham saath hain to
buraa bhi nahin

---

a lot of filmy lately!! :) :) here to stay!

240. Chand roza ishq

udte hue aaya tha, mudke wahin jaaoonga
jhadne lagengi jab saari khushfahmiyaan

udte hue aaya tha, mudke wahin jaaoonga
badhne lagengi hadh se jab berahamiyaan

mere
lautne se pehle, saath mere rah le

saanson me bachi-kuchi si jo ho sukoon to,
noch lenge

khaabon me bichi hui mile mausiqi jo,
naach lenge

---

har kism ka ishq gunaah hai yahaan
bevajah nazrein uthti rahti hain

ik jism ne ishq chhuaa jo yahaan
phir subah khabrein udti rahti hain

ajnabi se rasmon ke
ajnabi se naqshe hain
aankhein moonde rakhna hi sahi tha

bulbulon se lamhon me
bulbulon se ishq hain
inme rab ko basaana hi nahin tha

aankhein khul gayi
ham gumshuda se ho gaye

bulbule bujh gaye
ham bekhuda se ho gaye

---
udte hue aana tum, mudke wahin jaana tum
jhadne lagengi jab saari dilchaspiyaan

udte hue aana tum, mudke wahin jaana tum
badhne lagengi hadh se jab badmastiyaan

tere
lautne se pehle, saath mere rah le

seene me bujhi bujhi si jo ho roshni to
baant lenge

seene me daba rakhi kisine aashiqui to
daant denge

par haan,
ik pal ke mehboob,
is pal ke mehboob,
bhoole bina
kabhi na kabhi
udte hue aana tum! 

239. Satrangi Rooh

andhi rasm kya tolegi
dard apna dard apna
bandi jism kya bolegi
dard apna dard apna

---

ye dard apna kam dard nahin
bas jo ye jahaan hamdard nahin

---

sadiyon me maayne bah to gaye
kanoon-o-kayde rah jo gaye
ik ishq ko jashn kaha sabne
dooji ishq pe jang kiya sabne

haan, mere dil ke mausam hain juda
par meri nazar me - tere bhi alag
mere mausam ko gunaah na kaho
bas jo yun tere mausam zard nahin

---

bas teri sahi muhabbat kyun hai
aur mera ishq galat kyun hai
jab apnon me razaamandi hai
to dilon pe kyun paabandi hai

haan, hai uski ek maashooqa
aur ek deewana shauhar mera bhi hai
par kuch aurat to kam woh nahin
aur haan, main kuch kam mard nahin

---

meri hasrat gard nahin
aur mere gam sard nahin
ye dard mera kam dard nahin
bas tu jo mera hamdard nahin

---

seene me qaid hai rang kai
satrangi roohon ke patang kai
kabhi to aisa bhi hoga
ummeed pe duniya kaayam hai

rooh ye udke kholengi
bekhauff hansi me gholengi
dard mera dard tera

chaunk-ke nazrein tolengi
cheekh-ke nazmein bolengi
dard mera dard tera

---

Feeling a tad vehement tonight!
And yeah, the deewana shauhar part is true too! :)

and most importantly - yes, hame chahiye azaadi!!

238. Reshma

she spots
narratives sprouting on crowded thoughts

she plucks them
to decorate hallways of bright conversation
on otherwise dull evenings

 

she turns

closed doors

into open windows;

showing us colors

intense and intimidating

colors

that have existed all along

unseen by our blind lives

do come by
someday
when you are bored of
your predictably perfect days

your grammatically correct nights
to read her do
ikebana with words
and
origami with ideas

do come by
to let her light your moments up
with bashful candor

 

do come by

for it is fun

to notice life

sometimes!

----

To the girl who tries to see, while the rest walk through the world willingly blindfolded.

237. Closure

the reptilian skies 

shed their night skins,

each dawn;
how we wish we could shed our past too?!

ain't it tough -
walking through these alleyways
filled with razor-sharp shadows
of moments long gone?

these

flickering memories
bickering memories
snickering memories

---

we trade 

shooting stars for empty dreams 

through sleepless centuries

we dress 

tainted music in white noise 

with clenched fists

we brave 

uncomfortably familiar conversations 

for desperate romances

pointlessly
juggling memories
snuggling memories

struggling memories

---
 

we wonder -

why tomorrows cannot be yesterdays?

why everybody puts off

burning those letters 

hidden at the bottom of their chests

of heartbreaks and nightmares

and unanswered questions?

why stories leave us 

but never die
while we sit here

waiting to hear their obituaries?

forever

shuffling memories
baffling memories

stifling memories

forever 

waiting for closure

---

236. Cowards

I checked them, barbed wire fences, out

now, let me sit still
and not make a sound

they are out there
prowling outside my bubble
trying to tell me
that my bubble doesn't exist;
and that, even if it does, it won't for long

I just want to sit pretty
and keep to my pop music,
pop corn
and honey popsicles

but they -
they want to show me reality

I don't let sunlight peek in through my windows
I rather
bask in the hues of my high-resolution screens

lest the world get too real
the world where lives are but public comedies
the world where lives are but private tragedies

but they -
they want to show me reality

d'uh, like I care!
who cares about dead people anyway
or the ones, who will be dead soon enough?

so, I weave barbed-wire conversations
and wrap them around my bubble

they will try to get in for a while
and when they hurt real bad, they will go away.

let me go check on them, barbed-wire fences, again

and if that is what it takes,
I will snarl
I will sneer
I will scream
but I will put them back
my barbed-wire fences around my bubble

because I don't want anyone telling me
that my bubble doesn't exist
and that, even if it does, it won't for long

because I am a coward
but then, aren't we all?

let's just publish our apologies
on our epitaphs

235. Ummeed

gin ginke savere utaare
ek tu hai ki aata hi nahin

chun chunke andhere guzaare
aakhir tu aata kyun nahin

aa jaa
saath apne
thoda ishq tu laa de
thode ashq bhi laa de

apni jaan ganwaa doon
thoda ishq to laa de

---

ulta latka gaya tha, parda ye aasmaan ka
taare jhadne lage hain, aashiyaan jal gaya hai
phir bhi dar pe jame hain, sard raaton ke teele
aag lagti nahin hai, dard jalta nahin hai

jahaan raatein padi hain, thodi aanch badhaa de
zaraa ishq chadaa de, thode ashq jalaa de

---

jitne lamhe the saare, sadiyon me bah gaye hain
yaadon ke kuch nishaan hai, ghaav se rah gaye hain
aise me ab tere bin, saans bharna bhi gam hai
saath jee na sake to, saath mar le - kya kam hai?

jahaan zakhm pale hain, aake ashq lagaa de
ab to jaan ganwaa doon, thoda ishq to laa de

---

234. Morning monologues

no
don't do it yet
don't turn yesterday off

no no
not yet
don't turn tomorrow down either

I am yet to make up my mind

I am yet to pin down
all your smiles in my scrap book
your smiles that rhyme with the seasons in my bed

I am yet to paint
all your sounds on my roof
your sounds that mirror the creases on my forehead

no
don't wake up yet

let me hear you
gently breathe in the colors of the night
for a while longer

just like
I watch you
slowly skim through our days
and strip them of all illusions

don't open your eyes
don't let today in

I still do not know
what to do with today

you have kept me too busy

no 
don't let today in
not yet

what if
today
is not built to be our home

what then?
huh?!

233. Afwaa

usne mujhe dekha
aur maine use

main use jaanti to nahin thi

magar use dekhte hi
mere zahan me
ik khayaal aaya

aisa khayaal
jiske masoom se chehre ke peeche
hazaaron ajeeb-o-gareeb kahaaniyon ki gunjaaish thi

jaane-anjaane me
main uska zikr karti gayi

maine zyaada kuch nahin kaha tha
kisine bhi zyaada kuch nahin kaha hoga

par jitna bhi kaha tha
kaafi tha

afwaayen yunhi nahin phailti!

232. Come alive

here I am
performing
my life

for you
during the commercial breaks
between the seasons
that you watch and douse vacantly

for you
to notice that
you could be alive-
but are not

I want us to be us again
our voices
trespassers without inhibitions
running amok in crowded skies

here I am
performing
my life
performing this schizophrenic tale
that lumbers through your drowsy days
so that we fall back in
where we belong

I don capes and shrouds
each dawn
and fling myself off fake memories
each dusk
for you

here I am
performing
my life
for you to join me

I have tried all the moods
in our wardrobe
to jolt you back into madness
but you still remain sane

and tonight I am going to try on
the last vestiges of insanity
left in there
and woo you back to life

and if you don't come over
I warn you
I will join you in your lifeless sanity

you wouldn't want that,
would you?

231. She wanted to be...

she wanted to be
a love story

no - not an unbelievably touching tale!

she wanted to be
revoltingly credible

and so she screamed and howled,
hoping the world would conjure up
the love story
she wanted to be

and she waited
for him to slap her
for bombs to explode in the background
for loud percussion to accompany their each thrust
for aliens to abduct her

but nothing ever happened

all she ever wanted was to be
a love story

no - not one that is timeless!

she wanted to be
a contemporary love story
a raucous pungent ugly violent disturbing one!!

if only she knew
that he loved her too much for that

and unfortunately for her
she will be remembered
as a sensuous love poem
for centuries to come

poor thing!

---
Dedicated to love-hunters in the jungle
and a birthday boy.

230. Bablu ke shauk

 hatheliyon me apni kismat padhna
 paheliyon me apni hasrat likhna

 nazmon me deewano sa ibaadat karna
 boson me dil ki inaayat likhna

 har shab kuch puraane khat padhna
 har subah ik nayi muhabbat likhna


--

 aye haye haye haye... mu-ha-bbat!!
 bevkoof!
 tu aise chakkar me mat padiyo, bablu
 kahe deti hoon, haan!
 ye pyaar-vyaar badi mahangi lat hai

 random nazron me green signal mat padhna
 dil aa jaaye kahin to love letter mat likhna

 aise dangerous shauk paalte hain jo
 woh aur honge fursat-waale.
 hamare paas in sab ke liye
 na time hai
 na paise

 ye le paise, sethji ke dukaan pe jaa
 janvari ka udhaar chuka
 kah dena, pichle maheene ka, kuch hafton me de denge

 har subah ik nayi muhabbat likhna!!
 yahaan meri jaan nikle jaa rahi hai,
 aur yeh nawaab saab bade aaye, muhabbat likhne wale
 huh!!

 do joote padenge to
 saare daure set ho jaayenge, haan!

229. Guilt

they smile too easily
and smile too much

they mourn too often
and mourn too little


they shuffle their memories
the few that their bulimic minds have not purged yet
before they go to sleep

they shuffle their memories
they scan them
they scrub the details 
to rid themselves of the brown truth



they stumble by their mornings
with closed eyes

they disguise their past
and disown their future
for the fear 
that someone would notice
the purple bruises on their conscience

I guess it is time
somebody told them

one has not lived 
if one has not known guilt at all

but then
one is no longer living
if all one knows now is guilt

228. Raat ke do baje

Zoya

raat ke do baje hain

mujhe pata hai
aaj bhi 
tum bedaar si baithi hogi
apne kooche

tumhare deewaron pe 
shaayad
tumne sureela sa koi nagma
taanga hoga
jise tum apni ungliyon pe lapetkar
gungunaati hogi

yaa phir kisi kitaab ke kaagazon me
betaab se atke lafzon pe
sukoon chidakti hogi
tum apni aankhon se

yaa phir shaayad 
tum apne baraamde me khadi hogi
kohre se muqaabla karti hui
(agar wo dheet hai 
to tum kuch kam ziddi nahin)

tumhaare ird-gird
kuch surkh se khayaal
sulagte honge

thode khayaal 
tum
dhue me udaati hogi
unme jaan phoonk-ke

aur thode khayaal
bujhaati hogi 
apni edhi ke neeche

Zoya
raat ke do baje hain

aur mera kissa kuch alag nahin

mere yahaan 
neend bahut padi rahti hai aaj-kal
jo kharch hoti nahin mujhse

main
besukoon sa
koshish to karta rahta hoon
chutki chutki ise soonghta hoon
par ye nikammi to khatm hi nahin hoti

chalo
aaj kyon na 
ham ek sauda kare

main 
tumhare ghar
neend ki teen-chaar boriyaan
bhijwa deta hoon

aur tum
mujhe
bas apni aankhon me padi
sukoon ki ek-aadh pudiya baandh-kar
bhijwa dena

tum bhi khush
aur main bhi

kya kahti ho -
theek hai na?!

227. Safar

 justajoo me jis sukoon ke
 har pahar main dar-badar gaya
 masroof tha jab talaash me
 paas hoke bas wo guzar gaya

****
 dareeche khule to hain bahut
 darwaaze saare band hain
 kaisa jahaan hai ke har koi
 apne hi aks pe shaq kar gaya


****
 bas pal do pal ki fursaten
 bematlab unki numaaishen
 thodi zindagi ki aarzoo liye
 ek arsa yun hi guzar gaya

****
 sabhi ke pados me dard hai
 dekhta to hai use har koi
 magar nazar to aata nahin  
 tha kaun wo ab jo mar gaya

 charche bahut hain, ummeed bhi
 yun kitne pahar hue shaheed bhi
 din bujha to sab kuch bhool ke
 har koi apne apne ghar gaya 
 
****
 kahin ranjishen kahin raunaken
 har kisika fasaana ek sa
 yun hi dhadkanen tez ho uthi
 phir yun hi dil ye thahar gaya



***
 ae ajanabee se aasamaan
 tera ham-shaql jo tha kal yahaan
 meri muhabbaton ka gawaah tha
 bata zara woh kidhar gaya

----

Coherence is over-rated, like I always maintain.

226. Cocooned in phrases

sometimes I wonder-

does a metaphor know when it comes by,
if I were willing to host it?

or does it meet with others of its ilk
to conspire and invade
my mind,
bumping into me
in condolences and congratulations,
pick-up lines and sticky notes?

I have been accompanied
by innocuous-looking idioms
all my life

they indulgently walk with me
through stories
through dreams
through thoughts

they guide me through unfamiliar mindscapes
restraining me, releasing me
coaxing me, coloring me

they pirouette on tongues of storytellers
they sing out of soiled pages

they carry a dozen emotions in their tow
and drown me in their overwhelming hues

they return to the graves of their origins
origins which had perished unnoticed
to recount their tales
of generosity and valor

sometimes I wonder-

how long does a metaphor live,
before it meets an accident
or an inquisition?
 
sometimes I wonder-

am I, their guardian?
 
or are they, mine -
making sense of reality for me,
where there is none?

225. Ae deewane

 ae deewane,
 aise kyun khoya-khoya rahta hai
 kaisi khwahishein piroya karta hai

 jo tha jahaan, wahaan ab to nahin hai
 wo hai wahaan, jahaan ab tu nahin hai

 to kya hua

 nazaren uthake dekh mujhe
 sar apne aasmaan aaj bhi wahi hai

--

 
 yaadon ke siyaah roohon ka
 shab-o-roz, peecha karta hai kyun
 dareechon pe khade hawaaon se
 aise rang-o-boo poncha karta hai

 ajnabi aainon se apna pata
 apna naam poocha karta hai kyun
 akhbaaron me, tasveeron me
 apna aashiyaan khoja karta hai

 haan, 

 lafz alag hain, lahje alag se
 kaafile badal gaye, mehfilen alag hain
 
 chaah alag hain, chehre alag se
 karwaan badal gaye, manzilen alag hain

 to kya hua

 jo tha jahaan, wahaan ab to nahin hai
 wo hai wahaan, jahaan ab tu nahin hai

 par nazarein uthake dekh mujhe
 sar apne aasmaan aaj bhi wahi hai

224. Air-conditioning

aapne suna hai?!
aaj kal mausam kaafi sakht ho gaye hai

hamne to notice hi nahin kiya
ham itne masroof jo rahte hain, na!
apne sheeshe ki gufaaon me
eent ke bakson me
hawaai jahaazon me

bas kabhi kabaar akhbaar me dikh jaata hai -
garmiyon me temperature paintalees degrees tha,
pathjhad me do degrees.
aur kahin yeh bhi padha tha-
is baar barsaat ke mausam me
kahin par kuch do hazaar ghar bah gaye
tch tch!

hamne to gaur hi nahin kiya

yeh bhi pata nahin chala
ke seene me bhi 
aaj kal mausam kuch sakht ho gaye hain

seene me patjhad sa rahta hai
na jaane kabse

jazbaat jam se gaye hain
khwahishen sikudne lage hain, jhadne lage hain
rishte hai ke rookhe se pade rahte hain
kisiko awaaz kya de?!
kuch shor-o-gul zyaada hai har kahin

haan, suna hai
aaj kal mausam kaafi sakht ho gaye hain

khuda ka shukr hai ke har jagah AC rahti hai
main to apne zindagi ka temperature  
baaiis pe maintain karti hoon
aur aap?!

223. Mapless in my mind

Without you around,
the day feels like a foreign territory

I amble around to find my way
with neither a map nor a destination

Your smile, your scent, your stories
which were like
comforting landmarks
reassuring milestones I looked forward to,
are nowhere to be found

I move around
this strange city of long hours,
trying to douse my conspicuous restlessness
with memories
of your warm breath
of your touch
of your penguin eyes
of your voice

But the memories
just make the journey more arduous
and the faces of these long hours just grow longer
and they gawk at me -
a trespasser
without an entry permit
(no love, no sense of humor)

Come back
before it is too late

Come back
to guide me through my days
before I am lost bhayankarly

Come back
soon
and on the way back
don't forget to get me
some fair-trade chocolate
and some handcuffs!! 

222. Craving the blue moon

Get me my blue moon,
my incorrigible insatiable blue moon.

The one who seldom comes by,
but never leaves when he does.

The one who peddles razor sharp dreams
and sniggers at me when I crave for more.

The one who dons dark unruly sarcasm
to match his untamed curls.

Get me my blue moon,
my irresistible irreverent blue moon.

I want to taste the night in his wake
and turn into ash.