shaam

sadak sunsaan hai

bejaan sa aasmaan sadak ke us paar
apna roshan libaas utaar raha hai

halke se saaye barasne lage hain
khamosh se shaam par

aur kahin door dareechon se
ek shamma jhaank rahi hain
par ye choti shamma kya jang ladegi
kaali raat se

main roz yahin inhi nazaaron ko dekhti hoon
aur sochti hoon -

jab tum saath hote the
yahin nazaare kitne khoobsurat lagte the

kuch to baat thi tumhari nazron me
jinke sohbat me har manzar pe raunak si chad jaati thi...

-------------------------------------------------------
seene me
tumhari kuch narm nazrein chunke chhipa leti to
har shaam shayad yun berang-o-beqas na hoti...

Chessboard life

why do you live a chessboard life, boy
& yet not move by the rules?

why do you still color the boxes
with ivory dreams
& burgundy plans?

why do you choose to be knight
at war
when you are the crown prince?

why do you see through the rooks & bishops
trying hard to make you smile?

why does your board have so many more squares
than the rest?
why do you choose to stick to the checkered sky?

why do you play on
when there is no opponent left?

why do you live a chessboard life, boy
& yet not move by the rules?

------------------------------------
Where do we go next when all we want is ours?

To one of the few rockstars I know & am glad I do!!

Conundrum

taut
distraught
caught
in what
we were not
to be
we
fail to see
& flee
from the mind
only
to find
we leave
behind
the reason we fought
taut
& distraught

Another Summary

I cry & moan;
sit pretty.
a lori!
not a sound.

I sigh & groan.
a pity;
14th storey
from the ground!

I lie alone-
a city
of stories
around!

Aasmaan-wale

zaraa jagaa de
jabeen ugaa de
aasmaan wale



pooche na koi
aise rookhi rookhi raaton me sooni sooni ankhiyaan kyun jaage hain

dekhe na koi
saayon me simat-ke sadiyaan kahaan ye bhaage hain

kohre me gum se chehre hazaaron sajde me utre hain
ik umr se ummeed me pahar ye bujhe hain bikhre hain

sabaa chalaa de
sukoon dilaa de
aasmaan wale



khabar na mila
un raston ka jo kabhi haathon me bante bigad-te the

khabar na mila
un naqshon ka jinhe kabhi udte khayaal pakadte the

padh le kabhi aasmaan ke is jaanib bhi duwaayen hai
sunn se shab, soone se sahar aur bezaar hawaayen hai

raah dikha de
rooh chuda de
aasmaan wale

Kabhi sadak ke is paar chale aana - II

Kabhi sadak ke is paar chale aana
jahaan beemar zameen hai ik arse se

aaoge to dekhoge
daastaan yahaan aisi bhi hai
kisi sunn sahar ke kohre me
kohraam utha kisi kooche me

zindagi ke kaii purzon par
ab bhi gard jami si hai

chehre bejaan adhoore hain
aur pahar mushkil se utarte hain

kharch hue jaati hai jaan magar
umr to wahin bas thahar gayi

behisi ki khaab hai aankhon me
kaash khaak ho jaate usi sahar

kabhi sadak ke is paar chale aana
ik shahar hai yeh beemar zameen
yahaan ummeed ke kabr hazaaron hain

kabhi to in par bhi gaur karo

------------------------------------------------
24 years since the Bhopal gas tragedy, the place is still a carnival of mental & physical illnesses/disorders... Is there hope around the corner? Will it end?

Kabhi sadak ke is paar chale aana - I

Kabhi sadak ke is paar chale aana
jahaan surkh aasmaan pada rahta hai

aaoge to dekhoge
daastaan yahaan aisi bhi hai
ke daag mile hain viraasat me
dikhte bhi nahin, dhulte bhi nahin

aur naam bhi loge tum jo agar
saari subahein bujh jaate hain

badgumaani besabab si bas
libaas hai yahaan har chehre ka

kya karein jo zamaana kachahri hai
aur khud qaazi hi qatl karein

gumnaam kisi raat me chhip jaaye
bas itni si khwahish hai abhi

kabhi sadak ke is paar chale aana
ik shahar hai surkh aasmaan tale
jahaan oonchi imaaratein hain sawaalon ki

kabhi to in par bhi gaur karo

----------------------------------------------
Kids diagnosed HIV+ rejected admissions in schools in Kerala because parents of other kids object.
So much for education, awareness... blah blah blah!!!

The room on the fourth floor

A placid steel gray sky
behind flapping curtains

A silken night
on the book shelf
& zillions of dark alphabets

A red chair
& embarrassing solitude

Blue sheets, feathery pillows
& striped dreams

A green mat
& a stained era of stories brought home to stay over

Chimpu
sighing at new green memories

An orange bucket, a white bed
& loads of dirty laundry

A black mug - a rival
A purple box - a milestone
A smiling boy - a treasure

Noises & some rain
sneaking in through closed windows

Brown smiles
Sunny laziness
Wild dances

Checkered moments
Chaotic comfort

Colorful existence
over which each night I paint -
a thousand shades of silence.

-----------------------------------------
:)

The Phenomenon

It happened again today
like always.

Ideas flew out of my window.
He blew them down
& I see now,
the wings wouldn't have lasted for long

I admit my mistake
He raises an eyebrow
He grows smirks
I shred them
a ritual as old as the night
a ritual as pointless as the stars
a ritual nonetheless

He is a foreign language movie
without subtitles;
a conversation in
smiling exclamation marks
& silence

A code, I tried to decipher for ages -
amused at times, annoyed at others.

& I wonder
what is worse:
the smile or the silence?

He is an insult
to all laws of nature
a cynic
a maniac
a saint

His thoughts are a game of shadows
with a thousand faint colors;
colors left behind
in many shapeless encounters
in a closed room
upstairs

Someday when he turns back
he will see
that he did it too-
leaving behind a trail of stone shadows
on all of the few he smiled at.
-----------------------------------------
:) To an idiot who is slowly moving from mono-syllables to paragraphs!! :P

:)

teraa cheharaa jaise anjuman armaanon ki
tu palke uthaaye to har parda utar jaaye

masroof si rahti hai khud hi se baaton me
muskaan ugaati hai tu jaise jidhar jaaye

maaynon me bandhi baaton se bezaar sawaal kare
yeh kaisa junoon hai tera jisme shaam-o-sehar jaaye

raqeeb ho ya ho sanam, zakhmi hai sukoon tujhse
phir kyun na koi tujhpar ab mukadama kar jaaye

kiston me bharti hai tu ishq nigaahon me
aankhein jo band kare, qaaynaat thahar jaaye

bejaan se lab mere, pal me, khil jaate hai
nooraani yaad teri bas chooke agar jaaye

manzil ki fiqar hai kise? raahon pe pair tere -
pade to raunaq hai, jaise bhi safar jaaye

raqs karna yun shab bhar, rasm apni puraani hai
aasmaan ab surkh hua; chalo ab to ghar jaaye? :P

jo bhi ho phir kal hoga. phir zinda ho jaayenge
chalo aaj ki dasht pe ham baras-ke mar jaaye?

hawaa pe ghazal likh-kar, tere dar pe chodi hai
padh lena ghazal meri, tu chat pe agar jaaye
----------------------------------------------
To Damini, the orange girl! :)

Italicised

She wakes up to a dark room
& makes an attempt to ignore-
all the monsters under her bed,
all the skeletons in the closet,
all the demons in her head;
But nightmares have their way.
She wipes her forehead & whispers
a fervent prayer.
"No, un-italicise me."

She walks on golden brown sand
in a city of frozen glass volcanoes.
Everything is different;
everyone's the same.
She looks at a wisp of white overhead
in a blazing blue sky.
She shades her face & whispers
rather amusedly.
"To un-italicise me?"

She stands on an escalator
& the wrong crowd waves at her.
Colours erupt at a distance
where she is not allowed to go.
She meanders to a mirror;
a muffled reflection flies towards her.
She closes her eyes & whispers
another useless spell.
"Go, un-italicise me"

She stares at a pseudonym-
a name she vowed not to take!
Her fingers drum on her keyboard.
Should she now or should she not?
Her mind is a cluttered warehouse
of stale sense & safe alibis.
She smiles at herself & whispers
to the faceless intruder.
"So, un-italicise me"

Maps are not always
about straight lines.
She had taken a U-turn
before she reached it;
& now she lives a bad dream
stained with credibility.

Let's hope she wakes up someday
with amnesia & an empty past!
If she does , do remind her:
She is better off-
italicised.
------------------------------------------------
:)

Raashan

uski zindagi raashan ki dukaan hai

main har din
ek lambe kataar me khade khade
guzaarti hoon
taaki mujhe bhi uski zindagi ke kuch lamhe
mil jaaye

har roz mujhe gin-ginke
woh do chaar muskaan deta hai
jinhe main seene me bachake rakhti hoon;
har raat tol tolke ek-aadh sapna!


kabhi kabhi saara din
kheechataani me utar jaata hai
aur main saari raat uske dar pe baithi
sooni hatheliyon me neendein senkti rahti hoon
intezaar me;
aur jab meri baari aati hai to pata chalta hai -
stock khatm ho gaya

aaj bhi main uske dar se
khaali haath lauti hoon
bas kuch jale se khaab bache hain,
jo aankhon me dhuaan udaa rahe hain

haan pata hai-
uski zindagi raashan ki dukaan hai
yeh bhi pata hai-
aaj ke saare lamhe black me bik gaye

par suna hai
uske shaam ke kuch tukde aapke paas hain

kya aaj ke liye mujhe aapse aadhi katori yaadein
udhaar mil sakti hain, please?!

Let me do something!

today was another gift
left at my doorstep
wrapped in curious looks & failed gazes as usual

I told you
not to spill silence
between the lines;
Didn't I?
But you!!

Now not a soul knows
what I am all about!

I am the narrator
I am the protagonist
but you-
you are the writer
who wrote me down in his sleep

& here I am
a story without verbs!
Let me do something
before it is too late!!

Khamoshi

zarra zarra ab zaar zaar ho gaya
zara zara si baaton se pyar ho gaya

khamosh lamhon me basi naazuk si zindagi
bas ek baat uthi, aur daraar ho gaya

jo khwaabeedah khwahish jaga gaya tha tu
besukoon kar gaya, main bedaar ho gaya

badgumaan mausam sawaal karte gaye
main bas bezubaan sa beqaraar ho gaya

hazaaron kism ke sannate hain labon pe mere
har lamha khamoshiyon ka dayaar ho gaya

mere dar pe tu aata kabhi to dekhta
muskaanon ka gharonda ab mazhaar ho gaya

besabab jode the tumne tukde chehre par
aur main betalab be-ekhtiyaar ho gaya

bevajah guftagu me shab-o-roz utarte the
ab har shab meri aahon me bezaar ho gaya

faasle ugne me yahaan waqt lagta hai kahaan
ek pal me har darwaaza deewaar ho gaya

cheente kuch raat ke aankhon me rah gaye
dekhkar inhe subah sharm-o-saar ho gaya

hosh ke tukde dhoodhte umr guzri
ab aake khumaar ka shumaar ho gaya

sansani kar gayi, ansuni mar gayi
aaj haqeeqat ka deedar ho gaya?

kitni mayoos hai tu, kitni manhoos hai
zindagi, tumhi se ishq baar baar ho gaya
----------------------------------------------
A Sequel to Guftagu! Return to silence...! :)
Freedom is an awesome feeling!!
But like Phoolan asked me the other time, do I really want to be free?! :D

Have a slice

I snuggle each night under warm sheets
to cold breath & muffled heart beats
The smell of green dreams still lingers on
when I open my eyes to a lazy dawn

& I see-
Too much of nothing is an aphrodisiac
Too little of everything is a sleeping pill

Now when I look back & unsee things-
I know what I need to do & I will

Miles are never a mask
nothing is too much to ask
I have that basket of hope
you gifted me not long ago

I have a slice each dawn for breakfast
If you haven't tried yet, I say you must
There is still quite some left;
want some?

Come over for dinner someday
& I promise when we dine
we will have dreams for dessert
& gulp them down with wine

Deal?!

---------------------------------------
To Hobbesie for being the sweetheart that she is!!
Smilio!! :)

Gap-shap

Jab saanjh saans lene lagti hai
to roshni
chupchaap nikal jaati hai
kuch surkhi phir bhi rah jaati hain aasmaan par

saanjh ke utarte hi
choukhat pe saaye dhera daalke baith jaate hain
gap-shap karne lagte hain
din bhar ki baatein
yahaan-wahaan ke charche

kaise naqshe badalne lage hain
kaise din galne lage hain
kisne daraaron me waqt bharne ki koshish kii
kiske ishq ka tabaadla ho gaya aur kahaan
kaunsi gali me rang hadtaal pe utre hain aur kyun

kuch salaah-mashavare
kuch gile-kachahri

main is shor ki khamosh gawaah banti hoon
har raat

kahin tumhaara naam sa nazar aa jaaye
to main saari raat ek ajnabi dastaan me
kuch harfon ki khwahish liye
rah jaati hoon
in saayon ki bheed me

mere seene me bhi bahut si baatein hain
bekas bekal bezaar besabr
tum kabhi yun-hi gap-shap karne mil jaaya karo na!

mulaqaat

aaj bhi main intezaar karti hoon
jaise pehle karti thi!

haan,
mulaqaatein ab ek arse se khafaa hain
par bahaane to ab bhi ugte rahte hain
aur ummeed bedaar si tahalti rahti hai

mere khayaal
baar baar tumhari baatein duhraate rahte hain
kuch puraani shaamon ki tasveerein liye

tere chehre sa kuch mil jaaye
to uske peeche tere kooche me pahunch jaate hain

kabhi kabhi raahon me
tere kadmon ki aahat-o-nishaan mil jaaye
to unhe dekhne
wahin ruk se jaate hain

aaj kal tum khayaalon me nange paanv kyun aane lage ho?!

benaam khayaal

Har roz kuch kacche khayaal mere yahaan se
lafzon ki talaash me nikalte hain

Har shab yeh khayaal
naakaam se benaam se
laut aate hain

is baar kahin tum inhe mil jaao
to inhe kuch harf pahna dena
kuch lavz thama dena

jaante ho na-
alvida bhi ek lafz hota hai

For want of a better name

You were four syllables before
but now I have a choice
between thirteen syllables & a grunt

& then I think-
what do I call you?

My end sees the night crawl on
for long cold hours
Your window sees the darkness crawl in
at noon

We talk of
wants & winters
over cups of ginger tea

& then I think-
what do I call you?

At dawn,
I fold my sheets
& some funny dreams;
place them under the pillow
for you to laugh them off
when I put them in words

I cry;
you hmmm
I sigh;
you smirk
I bait;
you hunh
I pole vault around;
you groan

While we play pictionary
with our eccentricities,
my room is filled with smiles
that are noticed by all
but you.

& then I think-
What do I call you?

A haiku
A shadow
A trespasser
A vestige of solace
A window of alphabets

I think
I will just leave you unnamed

for want of a better name!!

--------------------------------------------
Bhondu!!
:)

They speak a strange tongue!!!

We did this before & we do it again!!
Arch & me...
After the earlier jugalbandi ,we decide to wreak havoc again with our freaky poetic confluence. So brace yourself for a really incoherent & tangential conversation in verse!!
----------------------------------------------------------------------


Arch: chills sweep me through ,
I drown in smoky boiling waters....
it takes me away to the long loving sleeps ...
I feel touched... I feel loved ...
behind the curtains.. you stare

Sri: hard desperation refuses to go away,
would care to join or jus look the other way?

Arch: to remind me I am still here...
to let you know I will be there...
take a look around and see a fainted face...
right behind the curtains wid orange flowers...
its my purple veil

Sri: this is not the first time,
this has happened before,
but I am tired of stopping,
pls go ahead, gimme more!

Arch: given myself away to you
I stand stranded waiting to be loved...
your hands when they come my way
I feel blessed in bliss....
but then when time flies by
and you stand still
I take a step forward towards my life..
eternal peace

Sri: rhyme is just an excuse,
time is such a recluse,
peace is just another fugitive,
eternity just a sad notion;
Whenever I move, whenever I am still,
I smell of empty space & forever will;
You keep filling me
with memories of yore;
but I am bottomless,
I always yearn for more

Arch: you are like the deep blue see that goes deep inside..
bottomless or shallow within...you decide...
pour out a fine evening..
lets drown in your rains...
your colors will splash up deep into my heart

Sri: Blue I appear, but am not;
all I do is wear the sky;
Worn it for ages, torn pieces of clouds;
it doesn't turn red, it doesn't fade away;
I will sing you a rainy evening,
will you blow the foamy sky away?

Arch: winds I will spray
so I see the rainbow of ur heart..
wipe away those tears
and let the springs come up...
the sun will then shine making you smile...
floating fragrance all around...
dance the happy summer song.. before autumn arives..

Sri: autumn comes & I shed faces
come by & pick them up for me
We will weave a kaleidoscope of smiles,
to look at when you drown the shore
& I reach the stars

Arch: waves will come & take me away...
but love is always here to stay...
we will make a bunch of our smiling times
and share the thorny piercing surprises...
add a few delights...
then when u see a shooting star,
come away with me

Sri: Yes, we will do that,
We will shred the moon
& hide behind the dark night.
While the stars scout for us,
we pull in the sun
& burn them all out!!!

Arch: lets play with the universe
then we dodge a planet or a few...
careful...don't hurt yourself....
the galaxy will burst out seeing us loose

Sri: no! on second thoughts, I would rather,
come by your door & gift you smiles;
I will send you a night full of loving glances,
you write me a dawn of warm hugs!!

Sri: & when the blinds lighten up with your lazy smile,
I will bring you breakfast
with orange juice & fourteen kisses

Arch : aaww sho shweet :P