255. Ellipses

when someone
smiles at me,
i amusedly
revile.
unsmilingly
i smile
waiting in
denial
that it will be
a while
before
I see
you
'coz i...

i drop strange
messages
to strangers
on sites
trapping in
them, cages
their pointless
delight
uninterestedly
turn pages
on conversations
that fight
to stay
alive
'coz
i...

i drop vowels
into wells
stand still and
mumble spells
wishing that
you hear them
if you do
then do tell
if you are
doing well
'coz
i ...

i am
not

i am
not doing
well

i am
not doing
well
at all

i am
not good
at this

i am
not good
in rooms
crowded
by sounds
of my clucks and sighs
and ticking clocks
and clicking keys

i am
not good
with
sentences
that end
in ellipses

not good
at waiting

not good
at...

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"You are so fuckin' special... I wish I was special!! But I'm a..."