laut aao

shab ka saahil baandhke pairon pe
ab to apne yaahaan tum laut aao
phir jhat se din ho jaayega
phir tum pe dil aa jaayega

kabhi jashn me muskaan bharne chale
kabhi dasht ke mehmaan ban-ne chale
kabhi sahre ke saundhe andheron ko
'sal' ki aag me gumraah karne chale

yahaan kohra chala to senk lage
kabhi aah jage kabhi aankh lage
khaali se pade hai khaab kai
yeh neend bhi veeraan baithi hai

teri deewaron pe tange lab ab
chedte hai bedaar si raaton me
jab baithi yahaan main kamre me
hawaon pe tumhe sandese likhti hoon

ab bahut hua tum zidd na karo
ab apne yahaan tum lau aao
shab ka saahil baandhke pairon me
ab apne yahaan tum laut aao

aate aate wahin berahami le aana
jo betaab kare mujhe shaam-o-sehar
sadak pe baithi dhundh bujhaa denge
phalak ke taaron se garmi le aana

phir jhat se din ho jaayega
phir tum pe dil aa jaayega
ab apne yahaan tum laut aao
bas laut aao abhii laut aao
-----------------------------------------
the last one this year... :D

ae khud ke deewane

mehfil me tauba karte ho
chup chupke sauda karte ho
jaate ho, jaan le jaate ho
aur tanha lauta karte ho

jaan baqsh de, jee vaar doon
jee kaat-ke sau baar doon

ae khud ke deewane

bezaar

din bhar kore lamhon ko bharne ke liye
alfaaz chidakne ki koshish karti rahi
to dekha ki zahan itni rookhi hai
ki lavz nikalte nikalte seene me shikan ban jaate hain
aur maayne- bas laapata

ab sochti hoon
lamhon ko khaali hi chod deti hoon
kya karoon
aaj kal zindagi me kuch hota bhi to nahin...

shaam

sadak sunsaan hai

bejaan sa aasmaan sadak ke us paar
apna roshan libaas utaar raha hai

halke se saaye barasne lage hain
khamosh se shaam par

aur kahin door dareechon se
ek shamma jhaank rahi hain
par ye choti shamma kya jang ladegi
kaali raat se

main roz yahin inhi nazaaron ko dekhti hoon
aur sochti hoon -

jab tum saath hote the
yahin nazaare kitne khoobsurat lagte the

kuch to baat thi tumhari nazron me
jinke sohbat me har manzar pe raunak si chad jaati thi...

-------------------------------------------------------
seene me
tumhari kuch narm nazrein chunke chhipa leti to
har shaam shayad yun berang-o-beqas na hoti...

Chessboard life

why do you live a chessboard life, boy
& yet not move by the rules?

why do you still color the boxes
with ivory dreams
& burgundy plans?

why do you choose to be knight
at war
when you are the crown prince?

why do you see through the rooks & bishops
trying hard to make you smile?

why does your board have so many more squares
than the rest?
why do you choose to stick to the checkered sky?

why do you play on
when there is no opponent left?

why do you live a chessboard life, boy
& yet not move by the rules?

------------------------------------
Where do we go next when all we want is ours?

To one of the few rockstars I know & am glad I do!!

Conundrum

taut
distraught
caught
in what
we were not
to be
we
fail to see
& flee
from the mind
only
to find
we leave
behind
the reason we fought
taut
& distraught

Another Summary

I cry & moan;
sit pretty.
a lori!
not a sound.

I sigh & groan.
a pity;
14th storey
from the ground!

I lie alone-
a city
of stories
around!

Aasmaan-wale

zaraa jagaa de
jabeen ugaa de
aasmaan wale



pooche na koi
aise rookhi rookhi raaton me sooni sooni ankhiyaan kyun jaage hain

dekhe na koi
saayon me simat-ke sadiyaan kahaan ye bhaage hain

kohre me gum se chehre hazaaron sajde me utre hain
ik umr se ummeed me pahar ye bujhe hain bikhre hain

sabaa chalaa de
sukoon dilaa de
aasmaan wale



khabar na mila
un raston ka jo kabhi haathon me bante bigad-te the

khabar na mila
un naqshon ka jinhe kabhi udte khayaal pakadte the

padh le kabhi aasmaan ke is jaanib bhi duwaayen hai
sunn se shab, soone se sahar aur bezaar hawaayen hai

raah dikha de
rooh chuda de
aasmaan wale

Kabhi sadak ke is paar chale aana - II

Kabhi sadak ke is paar chale aana
jahaan beemar zameen hai ik arse se

aaoge to dekhoge
daastaan yahaan aisi bhi hai
kisi sunn sahar ke kohre me
kohraam utha kisi kooche me

zindagi ke kaii purzon par
ab bhi gard jami si hai

chehre bejaan adhoore hain
aur pahar mushkil se utarte hain

kharch hue jaati hai jaan magar
umr to wahin bas thahar gayi

behisi ki khaab hai aankhon me
kaash khaak ho jaate usi sahar

kabhi sadak ke is paar chale aana
ik shahar hai yeh beemar zameen
yahaan ummeed ke kabr hazaaron hain

kabhi to in par bhi gaur karo

------------------------------------------------
24 years since the Bhopal gas tragedy, the place is still a carnival of mental & physical illnesses/disorders... Is there hope around the corner? Will it end?

Kabhi sadak ke is paar chale aana - I

Kabhi sadak ke is paar chale aana
jahaan surkh aasmaan pada rahta hai

aaoge to dekhoge
daastaan yahaan aisi bhi hai
ke daag mile hain viraasat me
dikhte bhi nahin, dhulte bhi nahin

aur naam bhi loge tum jo agar
saari subahein bujh jaate hain

badgumaani besabab si bas
libaas hai yahaan har chehre ka

kya karein jo zamaana kachahri hai
aur khud qaazi hi qatl karein

gumnaam kisi raat me chhip jaaye
bas itni si khwahish hai abhi

kabhi sadak ke is paar chale aana
ik shahar hai surkh aasmaan tale
jahaan oonchi imaaratein hain sawaalon ki

kabhi to in par bhi gaur karo

----------------------------------------------
Kids diagnosed HIV+ rejected admissions in schools in Kerala because parents of other kids object.
So much for education, awareness... blah blah blah!!!

The room on the fourth floor

A placid steel gray sky
behind flapping curtains

A silken night
on the book shelf
& zillions of dark alphabets

A red chair
& embarrassing solitude

Blue sheets, feathery pillows
& striped dreams

A green mat
& a stained era of stories brought home to stay over

Chimpu
sighing at new green memories

An orange bucket, a white bed
& loads of dirty laundry

A black mug - a rival
A purple box - a milestone
A smiling boy - a treasure

Noises & some rain
sneaking in through closed windows

Brown smiles
Sunny laziness
Wild dances

Checkered moments
Chaotic comfort

Colorful existence
over which each night I paint -
a thousand shades of silence.

-----------------------------------------
:)

The Phenomenon

It happened again today
like always.

Ideas flew out of my window.
He blew them down
& I see now,
the wings wouldn't have lasted for long

I admit my mistake
He raises an eyebrow
He grows smirks
I shred them
a ritual as old as the night
a ritual as pointless as the stars
a ritual nonetheless

He is a foreign language movie
without subtitles;
a conversation in
smiling exclamation marks
& silence

A code, I tried to decipher for ages -
amused at times, annoyed at others.

& I wonder
what is worse:
the smile or the silence?

He is an insult
to all laws of nature
a cynic
a maniac
a saint

His thoughts are a game of shadows
with a thousand faint colors;
colors left behind
in many shapeless encounters
in a closed room
upstairs

Someday when he turns back
he will see
that he did it too-
leaving behind a trail of stone shadows
on all of the few he smiled at.
-----------------------------------------
:) To an idiot who is slowly moving from mono-syllables to paragraphs!! :P

:)

teraa cheharaa jaise anjuman armaanon ki
tu palke uthaaye to har parda utar jaaye

masroof si rahti hai khud hi se baaton me
muskaan ugaati hai tu jaise jidhar jaaye

maaynon me bandhi baaton se bezaar sawaal kare
yeh kaisa junoon hai tera jisme shaam-o-sehar jaaye

raqeeb ho ya ho sanam, zakhmi hai sukoon tujhse
phir kyun na koi tujhpar ab mukadama kar jaaye

kiston me bharti hai tu ishq nigaahon me
aankhein jo band kare, qaaynaat thahar jaaye

bejaan se lab mere, pal me, khil jaate hai
nooraani yaad teri bas chooke agar jaaye

manzil ki fiqar hai kise? raahon pe pair tere -
pade to raunaq hai, jaise bhi safar jaaye

raqs karna yun shab bhar, rasm apni puraani hai
aasmaan ab surkh hua; chalo ab to ghar jaaye? :P

jo bhi ho phir kal hoga. phir zinda ho jaayenge
chalo aaj ki dasht pe ham baras-ke mar jaaye?

hawaa pe ghazal likh-kar, tere dar pe chodi hai
padh lena ghazal meri, tu chat pe agar jaaye
----------------------------------------------
To Damini, the orange girl! :)

Italicised

She wakes up to a dark room
& makes an attempt to ignore-
all the monsters under her bed,
all the skeletons in the closet,
all the demons in her head;
But nightmares have their way.
She wipes her forehead & whispers
a fervent prayer.
"No, un-italicise me."

She walks on golden brown sand
in a city of frozen glass volcanoes.
Everything is different;
everyone's the same.
She looks at a wisp of white overhead
in a blazing blue sky.
She shades her face & whispers
rather amusedly.
"To un-italicise me?"

She stands on an escalator
& the wrong crowd waves at her.
Colours erupt at a distance
where she is not allowed to go.
She meanders to a mirror;
a muffled reflection flies towards her.
She closes her eyes & whispers
another useless spell.
"Go, un-italicise me"

She stares at a pseudonym-
a name she vowed not to take!
Her fingers drum on her keyboard.
Should she now or should she not?
Her mind is a cluttered warehouse
of stale sense & safe alibis.
She smiles at herself & whispers
to the faceless intruder.
"So, un-italicise me"

Maps are not always
about straight lines.
She had taken a U-turn
before she reached it;
& now she lives a bad dream
stained with credibility.

Let's hope she wakes up someday
with amnesia & an empty past!
If she does , do remind her:
She is better off-
italicised.
------------------------------------------------
:)

Raashan

uski zindagi raashan ki dukaan hai

main har din
ek lambe kataar me khade khade
guzaarti hoon
taaki mujhe bhi uski zindagi ke kuch lamhe
mil jaaye

har roz mujhe gin-ginke
woh do chaar muskaan deta hai
jinhe main seene me bachake rakhti hoon;
har raat tol tolke ek-aadh sapna!


kabhi kabhi saara din
kheechataani me utar jaata hai
aur main saari raat uske dar pe baithi
sooni hatheliyon me neendein senkti rahti hoon
intezaar me;
aur jab meri baari aati hai to pata chalta hai -
stock khatm ho gaya

aaj bhi main uske dar se
khaali haath lauti hoon
bas kuch jale se khaab bache hain,
jo aankhon me dhuaan udaa rahe hain

haan pata hai-
uski zindagi raashan ki dukaan hai
yeh bhi pata hai-
aaj ke saare lamhe black me bik gaye

par suna hai
uske shaam ke kuch tukde aapke paas hain

kya aaj ke liye mujhe aapse aadhi katori yaadein
udhaar mil sakti hain, please?!

Let me do something!

today was another gift
left at my doorstep
wrapped in curious looks & failed gazes as usual

I told you
not to spill silence
between the lines;
Didn't I?
But you!!

Now not a soul knows
what I am all about!

I am the narrator
I am the protagonist
but you-
you are the writer
who wrote me down in his sleep

& here I am
a story without verbs!
Let me do something
before it is too late!!

Khamoshi

zarra zarra ab zaar zaar ho gaya
zara zara si baaton se pyar ho gaya

khamosh lamhon me basi naazuk si zindagi
bas ek baat uthi, aur daraar ho gaya

jo khwaabeedah khwahish jaga gaya tha tu
besukoon kar gaya, main bedaar ho gaya

badgumaan mausam sawaal karte gaye
main bas bezubaan sa beqaraar ho gaya

hazaaron kism ke sannate hain labon pe mere
har lamha khamoshiyon ka dayaar ho gaya

mere dar pe tu aata kabhi to dekhta
muskaanon ka gharonda ab mazhaar ho gaya

besabab jode the tumne tukde chehre par
aur main betalab be-ekhtiyaar ho gaya

bevajah guftagu me shab-o-roz utarte the
ab har shab meri aahon me bezaar ho gaya

faasle ugne me yahaan waqt lagta hai kahaan
ek pal me har darwaaza deewaar ho gaya

cheente kuch raat ke aankhon me rah gaye
dekhkar inhe subah sharm-o-saar ho gaya

hosh ke tukde dhoodhte umr guzri
ab aake khumaar ka shumaar ho gaya

sansani kar gayi, ansuni mar gayi
aaj haqeeqat ka deedar ho gaya?

kitni mayoos hai tu, kitni manhoos hai
zindagi, tumhi se ishq baar baar ho gaya
----------------------------------------------
A Sequel to Guftagu! Return to silence...! :)
Freedom is an awesome feeling!!
But like Phoolan asked me the other time, do I really want to be free?! :D