to
step out in the blue shirt
in which I think I look fat;
the one I try on each time
and change out into something else
to
say no to him finally
when he comes home
tonight
I have been trying for the last 7 months
to
sell all the balloons by evening
and buy myself a coca cola
like I do each month
to
take a bat
and beat Raj
next time he bullies me in school
or maybe, I should just change schools
to
binge-watch the series
I am tired of spoilers on facebook
to
vote before I go to work today
to
take my family to Mc Donald's
on Diwali
as promised
to
sew the fall
on the special red saree
so I can wear it to Mc Donald's
on Diwali
to
push my boss
to have the discussion
on my rating
to
actually walk into the mall
and not walk by it
like I did the last 13 times
I have money now
but the guard looks so intimidating
to
try and get better at maths
and make Papa proud
I cannot fail the unit test,
another time
to
start exercising
to
go to the Ganesh temple
I have taken a vow
to walk up the steps
for 21 tuesdays
I can't tell you what I am doing it for
They say the vow does not work as well then
to
tell her
I love her
to
not give in
and ask my children their pocket money
to go to the bootlegger's
again tonight
to
make tamarind rice
maybe this time, it will turn out right
to
accompany Aai to the bank
though I dislike how
the people there talk down and embarrass us
each time
to
apologize to him
for all the hurtful things I said;
and accept that I was wrong
to be unafraid
to be different
to be brave
to be better
to be
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