346. Sermon to self

most days
we have
enough

but
there are some
days
when
we need more

we need
more bags of polite smiles
to wear
while we walk through
the carnival of unsolicited advice
the maybe-you-should-have's
the have-you-tried's
the i-told-you-so's
things, thrown at us
that we store in our heads
unbeknownst to us
and hurl them back at ourselves
later
when there is none else
to taunt us

we need
more hands
to scrub off
the pungent days
that cling to our skin
like the smell of smoke does
when we walk through
the smog in the city

we need
more places
to run to
because
all the world we know
all the world there is
is not enough
for us to fall apart

we need
more skies
to hurl stones at
because
pain does not always make sense

we need
more distractions
more noise
to drown out
the din in our heads
the longing in our souls

we need
more time

more time
to make peace
with the thought
that wherever we are
there is everywhere else that we are not

more time
to mourn
the truth
that none ever has everything

they say
we have it all
if we notice what we have

and it is true,
my love,

it is true
most days

but
some days
we all need
more
than love

we don't always
get it

345. Demons

we try to live on
they still try to find
words to name our demons

they ask why we're quiet
and they hear our tales
just to shame our demons

we tell them our woes
and all they tell us
is to tame our demons

when we kill ourselves
they close all their eyes
and just blame our demons

344. ख़ुदा

खूबरूह है ख़ुदा जो रूबरू मुझे मिला
ज़िक्र इबादतों में जैसा हूबहू मुझे मिला

दर-बदर क्यों घर यूँ उसके रखे है तूने राह पर
यहीं नहीं, है हर कहीं वो कूबकू मुझे मिला

मग़रूर सा हाफ़िज़ की, तेरे, करने चला हिफ़ाज़तें
ताज्जुब नहीं यूँ बेख़ुदा बेफ़ैज़ तू मुझे मिला

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343. Belonging

so you want to know
why you feel
out of place
when you are
with me

maybe
because
I am
out of place
everywhere
I go