219. Identity

 I bring the blinds down
 though the streets outside are deserted and dark
 double-lock the doors
 turn all the lights off
 and return to where he lies

 I sit by him
 and close my eyes tight
 needless as it be

 I run my fingers
 over him
 over
 the ridges
 the contours
 the grooves
 familiar yet cold and hostile

 I want to learn him
 by rote
 because knowing him was owning him

 I was free  till now
 because I belonged

 But
 now?!
 
 Now 
 that he leaves me
 unfettered,
 I sit here
 just a name
 trapped in his history