261. Never enough

I said it

I want to say it now

I will want to say it again

But
each time
I try to profess
this sharp emotion
which bruises my insides
when
I breathe
because
it makes me
want to be more alive
more here
more now...

each time
I do that,
I sense
that something's amiss

I notice
each time
each word seems
more jarring
in its eloquence

I tried resorting
to silence
but it sounds
worse

so tell me

how
does one
profess
a persistent and intransigent
feeling
that refuses to get used to me;
and refuses to let me feel at home;
and refuses to yield to age;
and insists on wielding a new smile and story, each dawn?

and how
does one
ever
profess it properly?

and how
does one
ever
profess it enough?

Ugh,
this love thing!
F*** it,
I won't tell you
how much I love you.

Deal with it!

----
To my one-year-old husband.
Oops, that sounded so wrong. 
My husband of one year? Is that the right syntax?!
Happy Anniversary, Babu-ness!
The year must have been really happy for you; well, you were married to me! *presumptuous dramatic eye-rolling*