371. Bridge to reality

my reality
was an acquaintance

we were born around the same time
reality was someone i grew up around

not too close
more like
a polite civil distant equation

we had mixed feelings
about each other
acknowledging each other
warily
once in a while

and then
i met you
and realised reality was your friend

we all started hanging out
more often
and realised that
reality ain't too bad
so i met reality more
had fun together
most times
we met

except for times
like this evening
when i meet with reality
in a strange fun city
without you around

walking down streets
with buildings holding up the sky
over wayward traffic

sharing an IPA
at a boisterous bar

over awkward silence

reality and i
we both agree
we are better off
with you around

so next time
join us

Ok?

--

NYC
Missing boy
19 July

370. Springtime epiphanies

i used to
watch the cherry blossoms sway wildly
each spring
and wonder
if they were dressing up
and dancing in the breeze
with glee

and now I think
i got it wrong all along
i think they are
just tired of playing dress up
and standing on display

they are just wriggling frantically
to get out
and move away from this planet
of 7 billion people
who just don't care

---
Climate change 

369. The mansplainer

do not
bother yourself
with such frivolities
my love

you are built
for beautiful things

do not
attempt to understand or explain
you are too exquisite and delicate
for such unglamorous endeavors

allow me
the honor
of telling you
how you actually feel

what you actually know

why you actually are

because
you do not know
anything
about yourself
while
i...
i know all there is to know
about you

so allow
me the privilege
of presenting you to the world
and silencing you to beauty

--

368. Misplaced nostalgia

there were times
when
we really wanted this

and
there were also reasons
we rather not have wanted it all

but now that
we do have it

we cannot seem to forget
the reasons we should not have

nor can we seem to remember
the times we wanted this so bad
or why

why is it
that we can never find
what we are looking for
in this house?

ugh.

---

367. Reasons for silence

is it that
i cannot talk
about the the only things
i really want to
talk about

or is it that
i only want to talk
about the things
i really should not
talk about

366. Camouflage

people
wear camouflage to
pass
unnoticed

i
wear
my own name and face
as camouflage

a name
made of so many unspeakable parts
a face
that i share with a billion others

and just like most camouflage
there are many places
they make me completely invisible
and there are few places
they make me way too conspicuous

but just like most camouflage
there is no place
where my name and face
feel like
they completely belong

365. Freefalling

living in a place
with too many skies
and just no earth

i flew
till i could
no more

and
now
i am freefalling

and will
forever
now

---
( You scientist folks, don't get technical and ask me how am I freefalling. With no earth, there should be no gravity, hence I should just be floating. F*** you, it's a metaphor)

364. Imagined

i have a habit
of missing that person sorely
someone I did not know at all

i think
often
if they were here
what would my world be like?
would I be me?
or would I be a different intriguing heart-breaking story?

i have a habit
of missing that person sorely
someone I have never met

i think
often
if they were here
what would I talk to myself about?
when they would leave snowy solitude at my doorstep,
in the fleece of which language
would I murder the loneliness?

i have a habit
of missing that person sorely
someone, i do not think actually exists

what does one do

when the excuses for complaining
are just so hard to find
then one has to weave one's own pain

the good thing is
that
i am told
i am quite creative

---

can one miss something that one does not know exists?

363. ख़याल

आदत है मुझे
उन शख्स को याद करना
जिन्हें मैं जानता भी नहीं था

सोचता हूँ
अक्सर
अगर वो होतें
तो कैसा आलम होता
मैं मैं होता?
या होता कोई और दिलचस्प ग़मगीन दास्ताँ?!

आदत है मुझे
उन शख्स को याद करना
जिन्हें मैंने कभी देखा भी नहीं

सोचता हूँ
अक्सर
अगर वो होतें
तो मैं खुद से कैसी गुफ़्तगू करता?
जब बर्फीली तन्हाई छोड़ जाते वो
तो मैं किस मखमली जुबां के आग़ोश में
क़त्ल करता उसका?!

आदत है मुझे
उन शख्स को याद करना
जो शायद कहीं हैं भी नहीं

क्या करूँ
जब गिले के सबब मुश्किल से भी नहीं मिलते
तो खुद दर्द बुनने बनाने पड़ते हैं

अच्छी बात ये है
की
मैं वैसे काफी creative हूँ!

---

Can you miss something that you do not know exists? :)

362. कबूतर

हर सुबह
जब मैं
अपने आँखों की खिड़कियाँ खोलता हूँ
उस चेहरे का मंज़र देखने
तो
पर फड़फड़ाता हुआ
आ बैठता है
सीने में

इतना हल्ला मचाता है
और
ज़हन में रखी चीज़ें
उड़के बिखरने लगती हैं

जान निकली जाती है
हाँ

लाख मनाऊं तो भी नहीं सुनता
लाख भगाऊँ तो भी नहीं उड़ता

इसके रहते
न सांस मिलती है
न नब्ज़ चलती है

इस बदमिजाज कबूतर
का नाम
इश्क़
न जाने किसने रख दिया

उफ़!!
कोई मुझे warn तो करता!?