376. Deadends

What are we doing here, babu?

We serve each other
stale silence and fake smiles
each day

There was a time
when your silence would narrate
fresh fantasies
each moment

and your smile would take me
on journeys to worlds
that I didn't know existed

I scour your presence now
to find that person
I loved

and fail

I ask you how your day was
and you shrug

You ask me if I am ok
and I nod slowly

we act like we care
and sometimes we actually do
but neither of us knows the difference anymore

I wish
someone had told us
that relationships don't end

that time just wears them out
and they morph
into inane rituals
of disdain and indifference
and drag on

that we hold on
not because we want to
but because we have nowhere else to go

I wish
someone had told us
that it hurts when things end
but it hurts way more
when they have no way to

I wish
someone had told us