I am Afraid!!

Among the ones I am more fond of; one of the oldest!

Yes!I am afraid to smile!
I do not trust guests,
here today, gone tomorrow,
leavin' me to spend the rest,
of days in agony n sorrow.
I do not know if this smile is gonna stay.
I do not wish to be smilin' jus' for a day.
Yes! I am afraid...

Yes! I am afraid to wish!afraid to hope!
I have always hated traitors,
& traitors are what these things are!
Deserting me midway here,
when they had sworn to take me afar.
These dying desires, these heartless hopes,
gimme wings to fly .
I am tired of all the wasted take-offs
they leave me alone & die.
Wherever I go there're tongues of fire,
licking away at my wings of desire!
In the end I'm left shedding tears
helplessly at my hopes' funeral pyre.
Yes! I am afraid...

Yes!I am afraid to dream!
These are as helpless as I am...
They promise to stay with me when my eyes are shut tight;
but beg my pardon & bid adieu at dawn, teary-eyed.
I am tired of understanding their helplessness & them.
I am afraid i cannot forgive them this time again.
Yes! I am afraid...

Yes! I am afraid to be happy.
Over the years I have been clueless,
about this thing people call happiness.
I have always been afraid of strangers.
There is definitely something strange about happiness,
'coz it has never visited me.
I do not want to be happy;
I do not wish to take a chance.
What if happiness does'nt want me;
What if it has other plans.
Yes! I am afraid...

Afraid to smile...
Afraid to wish...
Afraid to hope...
Afraid to dream...
I am afraid to be happy...