254. Jhoomar

dard jo beraham hain
ye dard to bas vaham hain
kahte hain log
kahte hain log

dard me toote ham hain
to ham hi hain jo besharam hain
kahte hain log
kahte hain log

peene do
peene do
haan

peene do
peene do
haan

hosh zaalim hai
peene do
jab tak hosh na ganwaa baithe

saanson ko
ginte hain
ham

saanson se
sunte hain
ham

karz baaqi hai
jaane do
kab tak jhakde, apni jaan, baithe

haan
peene do
jab tak
jahaan na dhundhuli ho
ashqon me yun ghuli ho

haan
peene do
jab tak
aankhein na adhkhuli ho
behisi na mili ho

haan
peene do
parde chadhe dard pe
duniya bujh jaaye

(behosh benaam hain
apne aashiyaan shaam hain;
subah aankhein kholenge jab,
hona phir badnaam hai)

255. Homeless

i just reached our place

and i realize
i will not feel at home
tonight
for home is where you are

and
no place,
no idea,
no event -
feels comforting
when you ain't around

so come home
to me

& bring my home
with you

because
without you
i am
cold
uncomfortable

i am
homeless

---

an ode to my globe-trotting husband

254. Aabshaar VIII

Going back to/taking off from - Aabshaar VII - where I used to periodically say random things that came to my mind without prejudice, or insistence on sense

1. Oh god, I cannot believe how long it has been since we talked

rah-rahke khudaa khudaa na kar
phir mujhko khud se judaa na kar
gam-e-furqat naamanzoor hai 'gar
kabhi phir tu mujhe alvidaa na kar

2. Unexpected knock on a 'chat window'

 Hello
:)

ye kaif-asar muskaan teri, jaan-e-jannat
bata - kaiku rare hai, mumbai sardi ke maafik

-----

Let's call this the phoolan post - for being an inspiration, unknowingly most of the times!

Aur hai yun hi
jaise kaha tha tumne
zindagi meherbaan hai mujhpe
most of the times

And so it is
like you said it would be
life goes easy on me...
 

253. Gunjaaish

inhe hai muhabbat sawaalon se
thahar - abhi inhe jawaab na de

saude taariqi ke baaqi hi rahe
saari raunaqon ka hisaab na de

---

siyaah raaton me rah gaye
rihaa karke subah gaye
kehakashaanon ke
kaarwaan
badhte gaye

sawaalon ka tarajuma
khayaalon ka tajaruba
yun hi saalon se
ye bayaan
karte gaye

udte rahe
gunjaaishon ke aasmaan me
udte rahe

udte rahe
ke
haqeeqat ki zameen
pheeki hai bahut

---

safar me jo mazaa hai manzil me kahaan
jo sach ho sake aise khaab na de

mujhe hai muhabbat sawaalon se
thahar - abhi mujhe jawaab na de

---

let me fly in the sky of possibilities

let me fly,
for,
reality is, but, a dull patch of earth

let no dream come true

ain't the journey more fun than the destination?
the anticipation, more exciting than the event?
the hope of multiple possibilities, more marvelous than one single happy moment?!
 

252. The deviant prankster

(or)
the dangers of boredom

(or)
the comfort of multiple standards


oh, god bless us!
he looks bored

that can be
dangerous

---

remember
the last time he was
bored
he peeled the painted black shadows
off the city streets
and
left behind
freckled infant moons
on the pavements

the moons
shrieked gleefully
like banshees
all night
and pooped
dew and star dust
all over the sky courtyard

we had to charge him
a fine
to compensate
for the new black veil
we bought
to hide the starry sky

---

and there was
the time when
he plucked -
all echoing silences,
and jarring politeness,
and charred sense -
off conversations
and confabulations

there were
jazz songs
sung at annual investor meets
shocking the stock market

and, of course
who can forget the
soft porn in the evening news bulletin?!

who knew
news and annual reports are,
but confabulations?!

---

and last winter
he hunted
dreamy hearts
clad in boring grey caution,
winked at them,
and sent them
down a love spiral

ah, the fights and the divorces
all over the city

we had to
banish him
from the city for a bit,
for upsetting the moral fabric
of the society

how he laughed at
us
and winked again?!

so adorably

I remember 
the predictably uneventful season
that followed

sshhhh!!
don't say that

---

not to forget
the season when
he chased and stole the ocean waves
because he was so done
with contemporary fashion,
and stepped out
wearing salty foam pearls
and nothing else

ah, the traffic jams
lasted for months
and we had to charge him
with indecent exposure

and he turned up at the hearing
donning nothing
but butterfly rainbows

what a sight?!

---

anyways
we should be careful
he could outrage our decorum
and upset our honor
again

so we ought to reject
his anticipatory bail

of course
why deprive ourselves of
a hearing?!

---

god bless us!
he looks
so viciously bored

if I were you
I would not step out
tonight

and if I were you
I so would;
and I think I will

251. Ajnabi musaafir

woh kaun hai?
aaya hain kahaan se?
 

lagta hai uske lahje se
usne bhi ik duniya dekhi hai
mere jahaan se juda
par shaayad utni hi uljhi
 

uski aankhon me
kahaaniyaan likhi hain
lekin kisi alag tahreer me
jise main padh nahin paata

mujhe poochna hai us-se

kya uski mehfil me bhi
udaasiyaan bikhri rahti hain
baukhlaayi si
anokhi mauziki ki sohbat me
 

kya uske yahaan bhi
log chehron pe sawaal
pahanke nikalte hain
 

kya uski galiyon me bhi
har roz kachahriyaan lagti hain
muqadme chalte hain
jahaan har koi
vakeel bhi hai
mujrim bhi hai
aur qaazi bhi

mujhe poochna hai us-se

par dar lagta hai

uska jawaab sun-ne se

kahin aisa na ho

ke meri ummeed bebuniyaad ho

kahin pata na chale ke

suljhe se mahaul 

mumkin hi na ho

mujhe poochna to hai

us-se

par sochta hoon

yeh sawaal-jawaab karte to hain

lekin phir kabhi

250. Kahaani har shaayar ki

Harkaton hasraton ka hisaab lagaa gaya
Kaif-asar khwaab laajawaab jagaa gaya
Aadatn aasmaan tatola kisine jo kabhi
Tadapta tarasta maahtaab ugaa gaya

(And that is 250. Kinda. The story will repeat itself.)

249. A recipe for adventure

Or a recipe for disaster (depending on your leanings, the circumstance, and the weather)
 

Half a glass of imprudence
A whiff of a predetermined argument
 

A hint of denial
A pinch of knowing silence
 

Two miles of unruly twilight
 

A jig to music yet to play
unaware of the startled audience
or their absence
 

Four vowels disguised as consonants,
as conversation
 

Obscure desires masquerading as mayhem
 

And then,
wait and watch
 

Or better still,
don't wait
 

Just close your eyes!

248. Jagraata

soona soona sa hai
maatha mere ambar ka

aake
kuch to dikha de re
koi aadha toota chand hi sahi

---

banjar hain meri rookhi sookhi palken

likhe gin ginke
khaate sab chhin ke
kaati saari jagraate yaadein masalke

aake
phir se chakha de re
ummeed ki jhoothi boond hi sahi

---

banjar hain meri rookhi sookhi palken

sapne bhi banjaare
gaye kabke saare
khaali khuli meri aankhon se nikalke

aake
phir se sikha de re
thodi kachhi tooti neend hi sahi

---

247. Words

A Translation
----

what language is this
that we speak in?

the more the words we speak
the more their purpose
seems to fade away

as if emotions are sad
to step into words
as if they wish to remain
frame-less and nameless

as if pain is embarrassed
to don sounds
as if it wishes to live
unclothed and silent

do you remember
we
had set up home
once
in a deaf-mute moment?

come on

let's sit still and silent
for some time
and see

who knows
maybe we will return home

who knows
maybe we will come alive
again

246. Zubaan

yeh kaisi
zubaan hai apni?
 

guftagu karte karte

zindagi ke maayne

bujhne lage hain

 

jaise udaas hain jazbaat

lafzon me utarke
jaise unhe bejism gumnaam hi rahna tha

 

jaise dard sharminda hai

awaazein pahanke

jaise unhe belibaas khamosh jeena tha

 

yaad hai

hamne

ghar basaya tha apna

kisi goonge-bahre pal me

 

chalo

kuch der

dekhte hain

chup baith-ke

 

kya pata

shayad ghar laut aaye phir apne

 

kya pata

shayad zinda ho jaaye
ham

phir se

245. Nightscapes

his affairs of the night
are secret;
hidden
even from himself

his snores and sleep-talks
sound
like a mono-syllabic rhyme
with multiple interpretations
for different audience;
interpretations
I fail to decipher

like the rhythmic hum
of an alien robot
working tenaciously
to take over the world

like
a series of polite persistent nos
to devious escapades
proposed by himself

while I watch him
each night,
he chuckles

he retorts

he mumbles

he (seemingly) exhorts
invisible armies
towards unimaginable battles

and I wonder -
what if he is indeed
an extraterrestrial spy
(and I get rather excited 
by the prospect,
might I add)

and I wonder -
will I ever get to know
the person he becomes
each night?

will I ever get to know
the person who inhabits
the grey nightscapes in his head
between dreams and daylight,
between memories and midnight?

will I ever?

will he?

---
An ode to a frequently somniloquist, occasionally somnambulist husband! 

244. Death by love

I will not
remember
you
tomorrow

I will not
remember
your grey yesterdays
your checkered hopes

I will not
remember
the moments
when I was you
and you were me

I will not
remember
that I showed you
the world,
or the world I showed you

I will not
remember
that I took you
to the end of the world
to the end of yourself
and let you out

I will not
remember
that I was
your muse
your murderer

I will not
remember
(ah, the small mercies of life)

but neither will you
(ah, the fun perks of death)

---
:D :D

When
you did come,
did you come
for me?

Where
will I go?
Will I go
from here?

243. Yaadein

ik ajeeb rasm
musalsal hai
na jaane kabse

log
zindagi ko
jeete kam hain
aur yaadon me qaid karte
zyada hain

main bhi
har manzar
har lamha
har dayaar
har tajurba
qaid karne ki koshish
me gum rahta hoon
hamesha

magar kyun

ye bhi to nahin
ke ye koshish
apne liye karta hoon

ke main in lamhon se
phir guzar sakoon

zindagi hai hi itni choti
ke unhi tajurbo ko
duhraane ka mauka
milta hi nahin

ye bhi to nahin
ke ye koshish
doosron ke liye karta hoon

ke main in lamhon ki
numaaish kar sakoon
is duniya ke liye

sabhi apne apne tajurbo me
yun masroof hain
ke unhe mere qaid lamhon me
na to dilchaspi hai
na inke liye fursat

to is qaid khoobsoorat safar ka
main karoon bhi to kya

abhi ke liye to
main inhe apne
tees saal puraane
yaadon ke album
me rakh deta hoon
jaise karta aaya hoon

dheere dheere
ye tasveere
zindagi ki dhoop me
pheeki hone lagengi

dhool jamne lagegi
in kahaaniyon pe

aur
kisi din yun hi
in yaadon ki bhi maut ho jaayegi
chup-chaap

aur ham bekhabar se
naye lamhe
qaid karne ki koshish me
chalte rahenge
aadatn
bematlab
bemaqsad

shayad jeena
isi ka naam hai

242. Mistaken for myself

some days
I am beautiful

and on others,
ugly

but most days
I am both,
my beautiful shadows
indistinguishable from my ugly corners

---

some days
I am the question
that keeps changing

sometimes,
I am the answer
that never changes

but most often,
I am that uninterested gaze
the gaze that
neither comprehends
the pointlessness of scrutiny
nor cares about
the intransigence of the response

---

some days
I am hope

on others,
cynicism

and then,
there are days when
I am the boxing ring
where hope and cynicism refuse to spar,
but just sit around,
playing dumb charades

---

fairly often,
I am ill-behaved
performing
to a cheering, jeering crowd

occasionally
I am alone,
keeping me the company
I seek

but there are days
when I cannot stand myself

and I try to flee in vain,
with myself in persistent pursuit

---

on most days
I do not know
I do not notice
that I am happy
too consumed by the choices
of pleasant noise in my head

on others
I feel guilty
I feel too overwhelmed by my happiness
and seek an escape
in narratives
of war-torn cities
of dysfunctional families
of unrequited love in grimy alleys

I bawl

I amuse myself with futile attempts
at letting myself
out of my life

---

some days
I decide who to be
and I am nothing
(thankfully)

on most others
the world chooses for me
and I am way too many useless things
things I never actually am

but today,
I am not sure

why don't you suggest
the story
with which I should strangle
and kill the hours?

and then
I will return
the favor
(and the pain)

so ponder and tell me -
who should I be today?

---

I want to swing from the chandelier - Sia :) :)

241. Ek safar aur?!

baatein banaake aankhen milaake
badle mere daastaan ke ilaake

mere huzoor
munaasib nahin
mere huzoor
munaasib nahin

dekar kiraaye khaabon ke saaye
ghar me paraaye mausam basaaye

mere huzoor
munaasib nahin
mere huzoor
munaasib nahin

----

anjaan shahron ke
anjaan lahron me
hamko abhi bahna nahin

anjaan pahron me
anjaan chehron ko
hamne kabhi pahna nahin

dar-darke jhaankte hain
dar dar pe chaunkte hain

mere huzoor
munaasib nahin
mere huzoor
munaasib nahin

----

sard aasamaanon ka
dard aazamaao to
mausam alag se lagne lage

zard aashiyaanon me
'gar aaj maano to
ham bhi zara sulagne lage

sab phir se seekhte hain
uth-girke dekhte hain

maana ye safar
munaasib nahin
jo ham saath ho
buraa bhi nahin

----

alag maayne hain, alag kaayde hain
alag daayre hain, alag zaayke hain

ye aasaan safar
zaraa bhi nahin

par ham saath hain to
buraa bhi nahin

---

a lot of filmy lately!! :) :) here to stay!

240. Chand roza ishq

udte hue aaya tha, mudke wahin jaaoonga
jhadne lagengi jab saari khushfahmiyaan

udte hue aaya tha, mudke wahin jaaoonga
badhne lagengi hadh se jab berahamiyaan

mere
lautne se pehle, saath mere rah le

saanson me bachi-kuchi si jo ho sukoon to,
noch lenge

khaabon me bichi hui mile mausiqi jo,
naach lenge

---

har kism ka ishq gunaah hai yahaan
bevajah nazrein uthti rahti hain

ik jism ne ishq chhuaa jo yahaan
phir subah khabrein udti rahti hain

ajnabi se rasmon ke
ajnabi se naqshe hain
aankhein moonde rakhna hi sahi tha

bulbulon se lamhon me
bulbulon se ishq hain
inme rab ko basaana hi nahin tha

aankhein khul gayi
ham gumshuda se ho gaye

bulbule bujh gaye
ham bekhuda se ho gaye

---
udte hue aana tum, mudke wahin jaana tum
jhadne lagengi jab saari dilchaspiyaan

udte hue aana tum, mudke wahin jaana tum
badhne lagengi hadh se jab badmastiyaan

tere
lautne se pehle, saath mere rah le

seene me bujhi bujhi si jo ho roshni to
baant lenge

seene me daba rakhi kisine aashiqui to
daant denge

par haan,
ik pal ke mehboob,
is pal ke mehboob,
bhoole bina
kabhi na kabhi
udte hue aana tum! 

239. Satrangi Rooh

andhi rasm kya tolegi
dard apna dard apna
bandi jism kya bolegi
dard apna dard apna

---

ye dard apna kam dard nahin
bas jo ye jahaan hamdard nahin

---

sadiyon me maayne bah to gaye
kanoon-o-kayde rah jo gaye
ik ishq ko jashn kaha sabne
dooji ishq pe jang kiya sabne

haan, mere dil ke mausam hain juda
par meri nazar me - tere bhi alag
mere mausam ko gunaah na kaho
bas jo yun tere mausam zard nahin

---

bas teri sahi muhabbat kyun hai
aur mera ishq galat kyun hai
jab apnon me razaamandi hai
to dilon pe kyun paabandi hai

haan, hai uski ek maashooqa
aur ek deewana shauhar mera bhi hai
par kuch aurat to kam woh nahin
aur haan, main kuch kam mard nahin

---

meri hasrat gard nahin
aur mere gam sard nahin
ye dard mera kam dard nahin
bas tu jo mera hamdard nahin

---

seene me qaid hai rang kai
satrangi roohon ke patang kai
kabhi to aisa bhi hoga
ummeed pe duniya kaayam hai

rooh ye udke kholengi
bekhauff hansi me gholengi
dard mera dard tera

chaunk-ke nazrein tolengi
cheekh-ke nazmein bolengi
dard mera dard tera

---

Feeling a tad vehement tonight!
And yeah, the deewana shauhar part is true too! :)

and most importantly - yes, hame chahiye azaadi!!

238. Reshma

she spots
narratives sprouting on crowded thoughts

she plucks them
to decorate hallways of bright conversation
on otherwise dull evenings

 

she turns

closed doors

into open windows;

showing us colors

intense and intimidating

colors

that have existed all along

unseen by our blind lives

do come by
someday
when you are bored of
your predictably perfect days

your grammatically correct nights
to read her do
ikebana with words
and
origami with ideas

do come by
to let her light your moments up
with bashful candor

 

do come by

for it is fun

to notice life

sometimes!

----

To the girl who tries to see, while the rest walk through the world willingly blindfolded.

237. Closure

the reptilian skies 

shed their night skins,

each dawn;
how we wish we could shed our past too?!

ain't it tough -
walking through these alleyways
filled with razor-sharp shadows
of moments long gone?

these

flickering memories
bickering memories
snickering memories

---

we trade 

shooting stars for empty dreams 

through sleepless centuries

we dress 

tainted music in white noise 

with clenched fists

we brave 

uncomfortably familiar conversations 

for desperate romances

pointlessly
juggling memories
snuggling memories

struggling memories

---
 

we wonder -

why tomorrows cannot be yesterdays?

why everybody puts off

burning those letters 

hidden at the bottom of their chests

of heartbreaks and nightmares

and unanswered questions?

why stories leave us 

but never die
while we sit here

waiting to hear their obituaries?

forever

shuffling memories
baffling memories

stifling memories

forever 

waiting for closure

---